Los Bloggies

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2009-11-29T23:36:00.001-05:00

The Loudest Note in the World

2009-10-13T19:04:00.009-04:00

With the ears of an angel, the loudest sounds you'd hear from outerspace coming from Earth would be noise. Ocean noise is the loudest, followed by lightning, volcanoes, and industrial noise. These pitchless rhyhms rule the soundtrack of our planet.

The loudest musical tones you'd hear would also come from machines, that of the electric power grid, or mains. The electric hum produced from power transmission is ubiquitous and provides the keynote of our lives. It's the inescapable tone, if you use appliances, live near street lights, work in a factory, or do pretty much anything.

Because of differing voltages in the East and West, there are two dominant tones found in the power system.

In North America, the Grid plays a 60 hertz tone, halfway between a B and Bb. In Europe, the Mains plays a 50 hz tone, about a quarter tone sharper than a G.

Our aural angel would mostly hear this G tone from outerspace, because the European voltage is most popular throughout the world. The map below shows the distribution between the two tones. The red denotes the flat B, while the blue denotes the sharpG.

Between the two power tones is roughly a minor third interval. Go back up top, and simultaneously sound the two power tones.

The loudest interval to angelic ears is the minor third.

From outerspace, the G Minor reigns supreme, providing harmony to the oceanic and industrial riddim. It is our planetary chord. If the cosmos run anything like in Close Encounters, then the Earth's G Minor Chord will function diplomatically.

The Minor is known as the "sad chord". This is because there are more dissonant overtones at play, than in a major chord.

Happier right? Babies like major better than minor. They should know, because they know nothing.

Angels prefer the minor though. Cause they live in outerspace.

Epilogue:
The soundtracks of our lives are provided for by machines. Once upon a time, the birds sang songs louder than anybody. But for now it's:

Power tones! Power tones!! Power tones!!!

Musical Dimorphism

2009-10-12T22:07:00.008-04:00

Men and women are an octave apart. So too are boys and men.

Using the falsetto, or head voice, any man can sing like a woman, or more accurately, sing like a little boy.

Try out your falsetto at home now. Sing like the boy who dreamed he was a man. Use your mind to change the shape of your vocal chords. Let your head do the vibrating. Contrary to popular belief, women can do it too!

Ain't nothin' false about falsetto.
That shit is real. They should call it realsetto.

Musical dimorphism is found in many species. Check out the calls of the Canada Goose. The male sings "a-honk" and the female sings "a-hink".

The male goose honks an F, while the female hinks a G. The interval between them is called a whole tone, the 2nd smallest next to the semitone.

The hoots of the male and female owls are a major third apart, meaning they are 4 steps away. When their calls overlap, it makes for some sweet harmony.

Los Doggies supports dimorphism in sex and music!

Best Falsetto Ever
100 Million by SDRE

Meta-songs

2009-10-06T17:18:00.017-04:00

A meta-song is self-referential. A fine example of a meta-song is found in "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen.

Click on the sinusoid to hear. The lyrics in the melody refer to the chords as they are played.

The 'Fourth' and the 'Fifth' refer to chord degrees. There are seven chords in a classic major & minor scale.

"Hallelujah" begins on the C ( I ), then goes to the F ( IV ),
the G ( V ). The A Minor VI, and the F major IV.

The singer of the song attempts to serenade his lover, who doesn't "really care for music", with a description of the chords he's playing. According to Cohen, girls adore the finger-picking, but they like chord degrees even more.

Now let's take a look at "Hallelujah" on the oscilloscope.

                 1          2          3           4           *      5

Wow, look at that! This little waveform reveals much. You can see five major spikes as marked above. These are volume, or amplitude spikes. The five spikes denote the five verses & choruses of this song. The inbetweens are when Buckley is just playing guitar. Right before the first verse is the quietest moment (*) of the song.
Listen to Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah



              Buckley Breath with Guitar Slap

I heard there was a secret chord, that David played, and it pleased the Lord. Hail Jah!

Other Meta-songs
I'll have to say I love you in a song by Jim Croce
This song is just six words long by Weird Al

Los Doggies is hard at work on a new album of a meta-songs!

Toney Toney Tone

2009-10-04T17:33:00.008-04:00

Every single musical tone is a chord that contains a scale.
The secret scale inside every tone is called the Harmonic Series.

The Harmonic Series begins with the Fundamental, in this case the C. This is the tone that you hear as pitch. If you strike this tone on a piano, the rest of the tones in the Series will sound. These harmonics color the timbre of an instrument. They let you know it is a piano that is sounding.

The first harmonic is a higher C, the octave. The second harmonic is a G, the fifth, followed by another octave C. The fourth harmonic is the Major/Minor Third E.

Together, C, E and G form a C Major chord.

Thus, there is a natural basis to tonality. Scales and Chords came pre-packaged inside every Tone. So it's no wonder why babies prefer Major keys.

The Harmonic Series is also know as the Lydian Dominant scale. It is an obscure key. I can't think of one sing-song that uses it.

However, Alexander Scriabin, the Russian tone poet, uses this scale extensively in his Poem of Fire. Below is Scriabin's favorite chord, The Mystic Chord, which is created from the Lydian Dominant scale.

Thus Spake Zarathrusta by Richard Strauss reveals the origins of music in the harmonic series. The song begins with the Fundamental, C, and adds the other harmonics - the Fifth, Octave, and Thirds.

Musicologist Robert Fink has a beautiful anaylsis of Zarathrusta. His Origins of Music site has great articles on the natural basis of music.

Well that's it for this Bloggy! Here's what we learned today:

1) Every tone is a chord that contains a scale.
2) This scale is called the Harmonic Series, or Lydian Dominant.
3) The Series shows there is a natural basis to pop tonalities.
4) Thus, babies prefer Major keys.
5) Scriabin was obsessed with Lydian Dominant.
6) Richard Strauss is awesome and babies love him.

Wooh Hooh H'oh Oh Oh

2009-09-29T16:27:00.010-04:00

"Wooh Hooh" is a non-lexical vocable, or an "utterance without meaning", though the meaning is quite clear in the example below.

Non-lexical vocables express the pure joy of playing and singing music.
Fa la la la la. Ob-la-di Ob-la-da.

Backwards, these notes form a D Major Pentatonic Scale.
The vocable from Weezer's Dreamin' is also found in an older song.

In both examples, the Wooh Hooh's are sung in falsetto, as Wooh Hooh's ought to be.

Weezer frontman, Rivers Cuomo, carries around a three-ring binder known as "The Enyclopedia of Pop" which breaks down the song formulas of Nirvana, Green Day, and Oasis. (I'd sub in The Beatles for those last two.)

It seems likely that Dreamin' was inspired by You are the Woman, at least unconsciously. There are 3 main reasons why come I believe this:

1) They both go "Wooh hooh whoa oh oh" .
2) They have the same chord progressions.
3) And for Jupiter's sake, they're both in D Major!

Imagine if Music Publications actually reviewed songs? Actually talked about real music?
Here's what it'd look like:

Dreamin' by Weezer
Keys: D Major and G Major
Chords: I III IV V
Feel: 4/4 Swing. 4/4 Straight.
Tempo: 130 for beginning and end. 90 at the bridge.

You are the Woman by Firefall
Keys: D Major
Chords: I III II V
Feel: 4/4 Straight.
Tempo: 120

In You are the Woman, the third chord is an E Minor instead of a G, but the movement in both songs is essentially the same.

A Song Schema, like the ones above, can reveal so much more about the music than buzzy adjectives can.

So here's my music review, fortified with real music talk.

Dreamin' by Weezer is a sick song. The melodies are belt-outs. The music is swinging and straight, yet rocks throughout. The structure is adventerous, featuring a bridge section with a little song within the song, sung by Brian Bell with Rivers Cuomo doing counterpoint. The attitude, as always, is bravura, musical bravado.

Dreamin' harkens to some of the best moments from Pinkerton. The tempo slowdown at the final chorus is reminiscient of Pink Triangle and the chord progression was used in Why Bother and Across the Sea.

The kiss-the-sky feedback in the intro is like the drowsy hypnogogic state preceding the kick-in of dreams.

How can one not like this song? It's 4/4 D major anthemic punk-pop with a swing and child-like lyrics and it's got crazy changes.

Weezer Rules. Wooh Hooh.

Dedicated to all the Post-Green haters. Whoa oh oh.

Other Dreaming Classics.
Daydream Believer by the Monkees
I can't wake up by Krs One
Dream by Sean Lennon.

Ya gotta song ya want me to 'review'? Shoot me an e-mail!
losdoggies@losdoggies.com

Crying Codas

2009-09-28T00:41:00.015-04:00

The coda is the very last hoorah of a song.
For example, the classic Beatles Coda from Sgt. Pepper. Click on the sinusoid to play/stop.

The coda lets you know the end of the song is nigh.

Let's take a look at a couple of Crying Codas.
The first one is from MJ's debut album Off the Wall.

According to Quincy Jones "he cried at the end of every take, you know. We recorded about—I don't know—8-11 takes, and every one at the end, he just cried, and I said 'hey - that's supposed to be, leave it on there."

Here's another; a Crying Cocker Coda.

After 3 minutes of passionate manly crooning and screaming on this ballad, Joe goes to falsetto for the final notes. Beautiful.

Codas make heavy use of the Cadence.
A Cadence leads to the Resolution, the "doe, a deer" or Root.
The cadential chords takes you a home.

Above is the classic cadence that takes you home to C Major. Drag over the noteheads.

Try to spot the Coda in the next song you hear!

Dreamjam

2009-05-04T12:43:00.039-04:00

I dreamed that Ludwig and I are playing a grand piano at the shoreline of a turbulent ocean. He is dressed in a tuxedo and is whaling 3 chords over and over on the bass keys, except it doesn't sound like a piano. It sounds like a chorus of Sirens and Merwomen singing into conch mics. The chords themselves are visible when I look through the piano cabinet.

Below is a chord widget of the Ludwig dreamchords.
Drag over the stemmed noteheads. Play the guitar loop and try to drag over the chords in time to create a double-voiced dream timbre.

Here is a scale you can use to play over the Dreamchords. It is an F Phrygian (spelled wrong below) kinda dealy.

Certain notes will only sound good atop certain chords. Go ahead and take yourself a nice long solo. Explore the consonances and dissonances of this progression.

You'll probably wanna put this oceanic loop on in the background and go take another solo. Just click the orb.

You'll also probably wanna have some cymbal swells too.

Just click on the Saturnal Cymbal and try to time it so that it crashes on the F Major in the chord progression above. This is called Resolution.

Well that's it for this dreamjam.

A special thanks to mother for her footage and audio of the southern waters of the World Ocean. And props to Lord Morpheus for not devouring this dream as he's devoured countless others.

♪ Little Notes ♪

2009-04-27T13:40:00.058-04:00

The ictus is the Moment of Music, the vertical dimension, the instant of the beat, the flick of a conductor's hand.

The flam is an ictus split into two.
Drag over the noteheads to hear a flam of snare drum rimshots.

In Percussionese, the flam is pronounced "Plah!".

Now try it at home: Exectue a flam on the membranophones of your own body. Take your hands, and use them to hit your left and right calves as if at the same time, but right before the ictus, hit your right first.

Audiences are flammy. Listen to this 4/4 stomp & clap beat from Queen's "We'll We'll Rockya." Click on the score to PLAY/STOP.

Here's a snapshot of 3 waveforms all meeting up on the ictus.

The top waveform is a little late, the middle, a little early, and the bottom, a little later than the top. All human music is naturally flammy, as even the tightest drummers are always a split-second early or late. Thus, the ictus is always flammed.

As a musical ornament, the flam concept is conveyed by the appoggiatura - or the added little note that precedes a note in a melody.

The appoggiatura above is a little D note, quickly played before the whole note E.

Appoggiatura's in Karnov

Check out this melody from the NES game Karnov. Click on the score to PLAY/STOP.

Now, hear this ornamented Karnov with appoggiaturas up the wazoo. These little notes add so much character to the original phrase.

I wish I could speak with appoggiaturas - little grace words preceding what I'm about to say.

As a child, I suffered from glossolalia, or "speaking in tongues". Later, as a drummer, a new kind of percussalalia would overtake me, that is "speaking in drums". For as long as I've played, the flammy beat below has been on the tip of my mind's tongue. Like picking at a wound, I love to sound this little beat out again & again. It feels more immediate and readily usable than my human speech.

In Percussionese, it's pronounced "Plah! Boom! Psaz! Boom! Bloomph! Boom! Ptang!".

Percussionese

2009-03-21T15:41:00.048-04:00

Little Richard speaks percussionese - the proto-language of drums.
Check out his impression of a drum fill in Tutti Frutti for your MP3 player.

Drag over the black stemmed noteheads...

Drag over that final "boom" a few more times. Listen to how Little releases that note.
He is very great.

The people of Percussionesia speak a peculiar dialect, characterized by Western ears as "noisy and fast", consisting of phoneticized rock drums.

In Percussionesian legend, the ancestors were given their language from the thunder god Bhoom-tsit !Plah, during a hundred year storm.

The modern beatbox is a partially reconstructed Percussionese devoid of its original meaning.

Let me show you. Here's your basic 4/4 rock 'n' roll beat.

And here's the same beat translated into percussionese.

Now you can "speak-a the drums" to your friends. Notice how every word in Percussionese is followed by AN! EXCLAMATION! POINT!

The Robin & The Towhee

2009-03-14T16:23:00.029-04:00

There are new Boird Band songs posted here!

Drag over the black stemmed noteheads to hear the bird and how he might sound on an electric guitar.

The American Robin sings "Cheerily, Cheeriup, Cheerio". The above riff consists of perfect fourths going up and down. C is 4 degrees higher than an F, and G is 4 degrees higher than a D. Essentially, the Robin riff is an F to G movement, or secundal movement; the interval of a whole tone.

The Eastern Towhee plays something like an A minor(add 9). Drag over his noteheads:

Ornithologists like to sing human lyrics to bird songs. "Drink your tea" is what they came up with for this doirty boird.

Now...

MAKE YOUR OWN BOIRD BAND SONG AT HOME!

1.First get a waveform of your favorite boird.

You'll also have to get your parents to steal some software for you that will allow you to look at the waveform (like Cool Edit, Pro Tools).

2.Then analyze every little sine wave that comes out of your favorite boird's beak. It'll help if you're software has a Frequency Analyzer to find the ridiculously out of tune boird notes.

Note: All boirds sing microtones. Transferring a bird song to equal temperament will cause you much psychedelic pain. The dissonance will be too much to bear. It's best to switch to clean every once in a while.

3. Just add drums on top of the guitar that rests on top of the birds. Now you've got your very own boirderlized rock song! If you want, add some screamies too!

COMING SOON:
The psychotic Killdeer Boird, and bass-driven Owls!

Happy Birthday Song

2009-03-03T19:45:00.028-05:00

There is no greater gift than group-singing a song to a loved one on the day of their birth. It's too bad the only known Happy Birthday song is a slow waltz written 100 years ago that no one likes to sing. Perhaps this is because it's too long. Might we simply cut this 8-bar waltz in half?

Ah! That's better. Almost like the bumper on a radio station. And now back to our regular atonal chit-chat...

For the people's credit, the "8-bar Happy Birthday" is really hard to sing, and it's not like there's a grand piano in every household anymore to help you find the key. The first chord of this song is made dissonant by a passing note in the melody; the "birth" (E note). This creates an unstable G major Sixth chord (G, B, D, E).

Trying singing that shit in tune with your flat family.

All the melodic jumps in the B-day song are quite tricky too. Best to stick with the 4-bar version and blow out them candles Prestissimo.

But let's please keep this cheeky little melody around...

Who can resist the deliciously mocking tone of the G Dominant Seventh?
"Many More" is derived from "Rhapsody in Blue" by Gershwin. You can hear the theme towards the beginning (at 00:55), played on the piano. It's also the last thing played before the big crash at the end.

Gee, I wish human life were more musical. All I hear is the 2-note songs of birds, and the 1-note drones of machines.

No, that is not my wish. I'm not telling...

But it certainly involves Animal Liberation and Kid's Rights.

So...
Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday to you.

Welcome to your doom.

Sporting Events Melodies

2009-02-23T11:27:00.058-05:00

The biggest sing-alongs on Earth are found at sporting events.
Accompanied by a sparse hammond organ, thousands of people sing simple intervals and clap various 4/4 rhythms, albeit in a thousand different keys and at a thousand different tempos.

This one's my favorite. Drag over the black stemmed noteheads.

"Asshole" is a minor third interval, meaning there are three steps between the B-flat "Ass" and the G "Hole". The singing of minor third intervals in mocking fashion, such as Na na na na Poo Poo or Farted On, can ultimately be traced back to the 18th century children's song "Ring Around the Rosie".

Another mocking minor third is found in the basketball chant "Defense".
Drag over them noteheads...

Defense is usually followed by a three beat "cha cha cha". This feel and tempo is also found in the 4/4 beat of the Bay City Roller's song "Saturday".

Another popular stomp and clap rhythm is Queen's "We Will Rock You". It has a classic 4/4 "boom boom plah" beat.

Baseball features this little call and answer song, arranged for hammond organ and a thousand screamoes.

The basketball analogue of "charge" is found in the "suck" melody below.

Now, Scotty Pippen in no way sucks. He's made so many clutch shots and buzzer-beaters that the above widget should be ashamed.

Finally, we have the Wave.
The Audience Wave involves thousands of people emulating an oscillating sine wave traveling through a thick fleshy medium, while singing sweet sine waves gliding up and down an octave, known as portamento.

I like Sports.

Applause Licks

2009-02-15T22:18:00.031-05:00

Music is born of Noise and applauded with Noise. The more musical a performance, the nosier the reaction. Some audience members might whistle or woo, but not usually in key. So too with blind hand clapping that says nothing of the tempo and rhythm of the applauded music just heard.

Drag over these noteheads:

The above example is taken from a live version of Harvest Moon by Neil Young. As you can hear, the sustain and decay of the final D major chord is completely drowned out by the cacophony of dissonant woo's and arhythmic applause.

Audiences get lazy when they don't have any licks. They have nothing to practice. They don't get to have any participatory fun in the music created. It doesn't have to be like this. There are things that an audience member can do to hone her awareness so that even at a suck-rock show, she can have a kick-ass time.

If the two aforementioned techniques of applause—claps and woo's—were made to be musical, rather than noisy, then communication between performer and listener could be heightened, and live shows could be more engaging.

Check out figure 2—the tonal woo. For "Harvest Moon", an audience member can woo the keynote D, to show her appreciation of tonality.

Henceforth, a crowd of people can woo the key chord of a song; in this case—D Major.

Now the above examples are not musically glorious, but that's the whole point. Most audiences are flat anyway, because the alpha males sing louder than the herd. Regardless, the gesture of tonal wooing will be felt by the performers; just like how sing-alongs are more about the "along" than the "sing".

As for hand clapping: might the audience clap to the tempo of the song they're applauding? Try it out in the example below. And for the adventurous concert goer, she can perform polyrhythms on top of the crowd beat. Just use the natural membranophones found on your own body!

Try it at the next show you attend. Clapping in time and wooing in key. Fun shit.

Oh, and here's a much better live version of Harvest Moon from SNL. It's just Neil solo, without all the lame harmonies.

Clapping On the One

2009-02-14T10:55:00.023-05:00

Audiences everywhere are clapping on the One. They'll clap on every beat, regardless of a downbeat feel. This practice must be stopped. A hand-clap is a snare drum, and snare drums belong on the Two and Four.

The need for clapping on the One is born out of fear and distrust of Rests; those unplayed spaces between the notes, collectively known as black noise.

Black noise is just a dream, the silent score of death, as here on Earth, every rest in music is a breath, and can contain the chirps of a cricket, the rustling of audience members in their chairs, or any other color of noise.

Here are the four basic colors of noise. White noise is the shit on your TV. Pink noise is in vogue for neurophonic meditatiors. Brown noise makes any sentient being with an asshole immediately shit upon hearing the slightest decibel.

It's impossible for most people to allow a rest to sound without fulfilling the urge to color that space with noise. A socially acceptable kick drum would help to standardize crowd rhythms in the right direction. May I recommend the Floor Stomp?

Clapping on the Ones is unacceptable. Why do white people do this? Haven't they heard "We Will Rock You" before, or been to a B-ball game where "We Will Rock You" is correctly stomped and clapped out before their white eyes?

Here's a most pitiful display of Clapping on the One. Of course, it's the Eagles.

For Jupiter's sake!
Clapping on the One certainly has its place, like say in a Hoedown. Although in this case, each clap is often accompanied by a floorstomp. Plus, in a hoedown, the feel is down all the way, with empahsis on every beat, so Clapping on the One makes more sense. Check out this song from the movie "Willow".

♫ Nelwyn Village Theme from Willow ♫
See if it don't getcha Clapping on them Ones!!!

NEXT BLOG POST: The Abolishment of Applause!

Olly Olly Oxen Free!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-01T21:43:00.021-04:00

     Click the score.



     This melody from Hide 'n' Go Seek is a Minor Third interval. There are three musical steps between the notes C (Olly Olly Ox) and the A (-en Free). It is the third smallest interval, behind the semitone and the wholetone.

     Nobody knows what the phrase originates from, but the melody is typical of playground melodies. For instance, Nana Poo Poo is also a Minor Third.

     Olly Olly belongs to the C Major Pentatonic scale and jumps from the Root (C) to the Minor Six (A). You can play it below by hitting the last two notes backwards.

Westminster Quarters

2008-05-07T00:52:00.000-04:00

     The clock tower song "Westminster Quarters" was composed by William Crotch in 1793.



     The last C that strikes the hour sounds more like a C minor, because of the audible Eb overtone. This type of modulation, from a Major key to the same key in Minor, is known as a Reverse Picardy.



     The "Westminster Quarters" is one of the most influential pieces of music in the urban soundscape. The Major Third in the third measure (from the E to the C) served as the inspiration for the Door Bell, Car Horn, and the Convenience Store. All are Major Thirds, a very happy interval indeed.
     If you live anywhere near a big clock, as I do, you probably hear this song at least 24 times a day, at every half, for 12 hours straight. Good thing "Westminster Quarters" rocks so much ass. When I hear it, I imagine the gods kicking in on weather drums. Most people are probably habituated to the "Quarters", or probably don't consider it much of a song.
     Still, it's arguably the most played song on Earth, and I'll hear it so much much more than my favorites, like Air Supply's Lost in Love, or Rivers Cuomo's Lover in the Snow. Certainly more than America's That's All I've Got to Tell You with vocals by Jeff Bridges.
     But probably not more than My Mother by the Chipettes.

Melodic Development at the Playground (y'know?!)

2008-05-05T22:33:00.000-04:00

     In my previous post, I conceived of "Relay" and "Challenge" as Minor Thirds, but now that I think about it, and really try to recall the pitches of twenty years past, I believe they were actually Whole Tones.
     Like this:



     The Minor Third sounds like this:



     Out there on the playground, melodies have a little legroom. Some kids might sing Minor Thirds, and others will sing Whole Tones. And certain little bastards will only sing semitones.



     The Minor Third is more of a child's interval. Children are naturally melodic, and speak and sing freely in giant steps. But by the time they start playing "Butt's Up", they can barely muster a Whole Tone. Their intervals continue to flatten until they are a typical monotone adult.
     Or maybe the Minor Third is just too wide an interval to sing when you're butt's about to go up.

     It's likely that "Relay", "Challenge", "Farted On", and "Not It", were inspired by "Nanny Nanny Poo Poo", the most popular playground melody, which is actually a parody of "Ring around the Rosie", a song going back to the 18th century.

     COMING SOON: Olly Olly Oxen Free!

Suicide Songs

2008-05-04T21:59:00.000-04:00

     Hey babies.
     Here's a few more Playground melodies from the handball game "Suicide", or "Butts Up".




     When a ball lands out of bounds, the player who fetches it can sing a "Relay" to beseech her fellow players to cut off her throw to the wall. A "Challenge" is sung by the other players to deny her "Relay" request. Both figures cover the interval of a Minor Third from G to E.

     The dis below can be used in just about any schoolyard game or life situation.



     "Farted On" is also a Minor Third. It's a little more mature version of "Nana Nana Poo Poo" although the melody is practically the same, and both have a swung rhythm. "Farted On" is usually preceded by a falling "Ohhhhhhhhh!". You don't wanna be on the receiving end of one of those.

     "Into" is short for interference. An "Into" is sung when a ball hits an object out of play. It is identical in melody and rhythm to a "Not It", at a slower tempo.



     In the previous post, I wrote that these playground melodies were in C Major Pentatonic, because they originate from "Ring around the Rosie", a Major folk song. But now I'm thinking that out there on the blacktop, these figures take on a new tonality - the very closely related E Minor Pentatonic. The E acts as a resolution in all of these melodies.



     Know who else likes E Pentatonic?
     Jimi Fuckin' Hendrix!
     Try jammin' along with some Nanapoops, Not It's, Into's, and Farted On's.

Playground Melodies

2008-05-02T16:56:00.000-04:00

     English is atonal.
     Adults are monotonal.
     But the kids are all singsong



     This here mocking melody has many variations - neeners, nahs, and ners. It is sung to the tune of Ring around the Rosie. The dominant interval is a Minor Third, between the G (poo) and the E (poo).

     The following 2 note melody is delivered in rounds right before a game of Freeze Tag. The interval is a Whole Tone, between the E and D.


     Both Nana Nana Poo Poo and Not It belong to the key C Major Pentatonic (5 note scale).



     It is a happy key, for there are no semitones to create tension and longing. Most lullabies and folk diddies are in Major Pentatonic.

     COMING SOON: More playground songs like "Relay", "Challenge", and "Farted On."

Close Encounters of the Major Third Kind

2008-04-18T16:44:00.000-04:00

"Up a Whole Tone, down a Major Third, down an Octave, up a Perfect Fifth."

In "Close Encounters of the Third Kind", grey aliens play these 5 Tones on their mothership's synthesizer. Hollywood composer John Williams wrote the lick, and fashioned it after the 5 letter word "Hello". Two of the tones are the same, just like the double L's.

The 5 Tones belong to the Ab Major Pentatonic Scale

The Major Pentatonic scale is a happy floaty dream - 'Playground' tonality.
There is little tension. The intervals are widely spaced; there are no semitones.
This is because the Pentatonic scale omits two very important notes from the Diatonic (7-note) Scale.

These 2 notes form a Tritone, or "Devil's Interval". Sounded together, they are the most dissonant interval known to man. In studies done on babies, tritones produce a negative response. In the middle ages, this interval was banned by the church for being so awesomely evil.

When added to the Pentatonic scale, the tritone creates two semitones, between the III and IV, and the VII and VIII. The semitone produces the most tension in harmony, as it is the smallest interval in Equal Temperament.

It makes sense that greys would come at us with a Pentatonic scale. A nice, neutral scale, that wouldn't offend Earth's babies.

You wouldn't want to encounter this:

Here's the best scene ever from any movie.

The Cardinal

2008-04-14T00:45:00.000-04:00

A lot of birds out there sound like dial-up modems, but not many have cool vintage lazer sounds like this guy. In phoneticized bird, he's saying "purdy purdy purdy - whoit whoit whoit."
Sometimes, he says "wheet" instead.

Here's the full song.

I took a lot of artistic license with this one. In reality, birds hit all sorts of microtones that can't be found in 12-tone Equal Temperament - the tuning system used by Western music from the 20th Century on. Also, due to their peculiar anatomy, birds constantly produce two sounds at the same time and combine them. The notes of a bird, are more like chords, spread out over a small band of adjacent frequencies. However, there are frequency spikes in these chords, and those are the notes I chose to denote.

The cardinal sings in the key of B Mixolydian. And sometimes switches to B Harmonic Minor.

Once in a while, in the midst of purdies and whoits, he'll bust out his little triplet lick. The progression is pure jazz; modulating all over town.

To better hear the music involved, check out this rocking version of the cardinal by Boird Band.

Another Boird Song

2008-04-10T17:00:00.000-04:00

This little guy is so good.
He sounds like a panflute. He flattens the decay on each of his notes.

His song is in the key of C# Mixolydian, but he often changes key. The second phrase modulates down a half step, but it isn't a perfect transposition to C Mixolydian. Instead of hitting the C at the end of the phrase, he hits a B. What a crazy boird!

Here's the full song.

As with all bird songs, there are more rests than notes. It calls to mind French composer Claude Debussy's famous quote: "Music is the space between the notes." Of course, there aren't any rests in the ambient noise that surrounds him - the pink noise of a river, the Ionian honks of car horns, and a million other oscine songs.

The very awesome Stevie Nicks' song "Edge of Seventeen" uses the dove's riff. The chorus also features a very bird-like call & answer. Sexy hot.

My progressive bird band Boird band also covers the dove.

We're Gonna Boirdelize Ya

2008-04-09T01:24:00.000-04:00

This is my new jam. Boird Band.
Go see the myspace yup.
It's 'free punk' renditions of classic bird songs.

That above boird you're looking at is a black-capped chickadee. He's got a nice little song - verse chorus verse. The verse consists of a two-note melody: B ► A, and the killer chorus takes it down to the E: Chicka-dee-dee-dee!

It rocks is all.

But dig this, the "chicka" in question, is formed from the two notes of the verse sung at the same time. These boirds are full of surprises like these!
E, A, B. With these three notes, the chickadee sings a bazillion songs.

I also transcribed the Morning Dove, and the Cardinal (coming soon in interactive flash widgets).
And, if you were wondering: Yes, I wanna fuck boirds. Beakjobs.

The Oldest Song

2008-03-09T01:16:00.000-05:00

This cover of the Oldest Song was sequenced using triangle waves, casio drum kits, synth voxes, a toy Chinese piano, and some wind samples. It was originally a hymn written for two voices, maybe a lyre too. This cover is more akin to the original alien's version, that lost some of its fi, when imparted to man as part of the civilization package.

There is just about every time signature in this song - 4, 5, 6, and 7 too. Who would've thought the music of ancient Syria was so progressive!?

I used the only recorded version I know of, transcribed by Prof. Anne Draffkorn Kilmer, from a CD called "Sounds from Silence". She studied the clay tablets for 15 years and came up with this masterpiece.

Oldest Song by Prof. Anne Draffkorn Kilmer.

It is pretty cheesy sounding, but I felt it could be cheesier still. So I covered it. Also, if you notice her time signatures are even more ridiculous. I smoothed it out and at least made the eighth notes even, so that a drum and bass could throw down.

The Oldest Song shows us how little pop music has changed over the course of four centuries. The Song is in diatonic C Major, harmonized mostly in thirds, and contains a simple I IV V Progression - The 'Three Golden Tones' found in every musical culture at any time on the planet. For god's sake, the first measure of the Oldest Song is almost identical to Beethoven's Ode to Joy!

It's no secret that babies like Major Chords above all others. There's a simple explanation really. Major chords make us happy because every musical tone is a major chord!

Behold the Harmonic Series!

The first tone on the left (the low C) is known as the 'fundamental.' If you played this tone on a piano, it would resonate with all the other tones of the series, called 'overtones', or 'harmonics'. The fundamental is the pitch that you hear, while the overtones define the timbre of the instrument - what distinguishes a piano from say, a flute.

Thus, every tone is actually a chord made up of infinite tones. Add up the dominant overtones in the series, and you've got yourself a Major Chord.

Mommies, be sure to coo your children to sleep in Major keys, and remain absolutely silent at the moment of their birth.

Here's a little guitar diddy I made of the Harmonic Series. The scale name is known as 'Lydian Dominant'. Enjoy my friends!

There's also a great Article by musicologist Bob Fink, all about the Oldest Song.

Feel free to comment about this post with any questions or whatever. You don't have to be a member or even leave your name to show some love.

Butts Up!

2008-03-07T00:04:00.001-05:00

Hello, and welcome to the Los Doggies blog! This is the very first post, so I'm writing about my favorite chord — the Major Seventh. Check it out on this crappy out-of-tune guitar.

It's called the Chord of Love. To understand why, let's take a look at the 4 beautiful notes that form a Major Seventh.

The Major Chord alone is a happy fellow - triumphant, righteous, but add the Major Seventh on top, and what have you got? A sad, sad little heartbroken chord.



The Seventh is eternally seeking resolution to the Root. By suspending the Seventh on top of the Root, nothing will ever be resolved. In this way, you can fuck with your listener's desires!
Los Doggies uses buttloads of major seventh chords. So do the Beatles.



These two measures show off the Major Seventh as a means of simple harmonic progression, but check out this earlier Beatles example...



Just like in "Something", the Seventh is accentuated in the melody, but here, the Major Seventh acts as a resolution, albeit a dreamy resolve to the subdominant (IV Degree). Everything in this chorus is a perfect fit - the lyrics, harmony, and movement are all of one sleepy psychedelic mind.

Sean Lennon is also a Major Seventh enthusiast. Listen to the song "Bathtub". Right before the second chorus, there is an acoustic guitar breakdown bridge section that goes - C#maj7 Amaj7 Dmaj7 Bmin7. It don't get lovelier than that.

The band Hum also uses Major Sevenths in totally original ways.
Check out the song "If You Are to Bloom". The little segue riff (when everything kicks in), modulates through weird Major Sevenths - Dmaj7(add 9) Bmaj7(add 9) F#maj7(add 9) and on to the Emaj7. This type of harmony, (along with the thousand tracks of guitars) gave Hum their unique outerspacious sound.

Finally, here's a beautiful song by America, chock full of Major Sevenths sung and strummed.
Tinman